a week ago I went through the lumpectomy. I am/was surrounded by prayers and love. I felt absolute peace about the entire situation. I felt/feel so loved and lifted up.
but sometimes when I go through something, I start off really good and then I forget that it isn’t me doing it. I have spent the week since the surgery trying to be strong and get back to normal. Headed back to work on Monday. Started walking. Tried to pull my share of the household chores.
and I forgot to sit down with Jesus. I prayed and I am reading a good book that continually brings my thoughts back to Him. But I forgot to sit with Him.
Yesterday, I just got weak. All of the trying, pushing and striving just became to much. Then I got a good look at what the scar will be, for the first time. And, I started looking at the circumstances, the situation, the now and stopped looking at Jesus.
Thankfully Jesus loves us so much that He will not leave me there. The Holy Spirit nudged me to sit with my Jesus. Let His promises wash over me. Just rest. So hard but so needed.
Because of God’s tender mercy, the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us,
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace.
Thank you Jesus, for righting paths. For grace. For mercy. For the love of those around me. Their encouragement and prayers. Thank you Jesus that you never leave me when my human nature takes over, but lovingly nudge me.
So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.