tripping

no matter how much you try, you will always get tripped up.

Over the last few weeks I have been presented with several situations in which I walked away thinking, “I just don’t fit in.”

Not only did I feel this, I began to allow myself to start walking in it.

The Holy Spirit convicted me of this today. When I am thinking so much about how I don’t fit in, I am forgetting what my real purpose is. I am not meant to be comfortable at all times. Actually, the better thing for me is to be uncomfortable.

I have a tendency to hide. It is easier not to have relationships for me. I spend so much time inside my own head anyways. I can easily isolate myself from relationships past those I have with my husband and daughter.

Don’t get me wrong. There are people I really like. But because I have always been awkward in female relationships, I fear being rejected.

Satan likes me to focus on all the ways I am not like other women, instead of focusing on all the ways I am.

This year is my year of living expectant. To live in all that God has for me. I can’t do that when I am hiding.

I will allow myself to be vulnerable. Because through that vulnerability I may make some amazing friendships, but I will also learn to rely more, lean in more, to my Savior.

Comments

  1. It’s too bad we don’t live closer to each other. We have so many things in common. Sometimes you say the things I feel. I’m glad you can always seem to find the lesson in the struggle. Your faith always guides you, and that is what’s important.

  2. I found you through Faith Barista. I like what you say in your bio – ” I cannot do anything without him, although I try all too often.” – Hello from a fellow anxiety struggler and try-to keep-it-all-under- control-person. Glad to meet you!
    It’s funny, when I saw your 2014 Word – Expectant- it made me think of 8th grade oratory contests – one topic we had to write a speech about was was ” Think the Best, Expect the Best.” Teresa, keep expecting the best from God, it will come.
    ~Kristin

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