This morning, I went to my knees, asking God to forgive me for hating my body, abusing my body, loathing my thighs, putting my physical appearance before Him, for secretly feeling too intimidated by other women because of I have been so ashamed of me. For spending so much of my time and thought processes on how to look skinnier, lose weight, etc. For making appearance and approval from this world as a huge idol in my life.
I have struggled all my life with weight, appearance, etc. When I say all, I am not kidding. I was put on my first diet in the 2nd grade. This has been a life long struggle and one that I am tired of.
At 42 years old, besides weight, things are sagging and wrinkling.
The yearning of my heart is to walk so closely with Jesus that I don’t know what it feels like not to have Him beside me. I want to recognize the voice of God and the prompting of the Holy Spirit in my heart and life so easily that I recognize it like the voice of my husband and daughter. And, I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
Today, I realized, not for the first time, but for the last, that it has to stop TODAY! I can not move forward with these idols looming tall and giant over me.
During Lent, I am working through Love Idol by Jennifer Dukes Lee. And I am expectant of the change Jesus is going to do in me.
If you would like to join me, please go to https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/The-Love-Idol-Movement/1396444470621134. There is still time. Join me in ripping down those things that stand between you and Jesus.