my heart during Holy Week

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moment by moment

for two years the words that have been continually spoken to me are "relax", "rest", "stop striving". These words are difficult for me to process. Doing equals accomplishment. Accomplishment provides me with value. my brain, it swirls and sputters at all times. I don't know how to quiet the voices. Would I know myself if they were gone? in my seeking, I feel as though it isn't about relaxing and resting for me. It isn't about stopping something. But it is about giving up my perceived control minute by minute. walk closely. listen intently. ask for direction. wait for the … [Read more...]

when i keep falling

this weekend I stumbled over a few things I thought I had put in my past. Hate it when that happens. I want to be an overcomer and find myself overcome. I repented and prayed over these things. But, true to form, I started beating myself up over them. I mean really Teresa, how many times? When will you ever get it together? I was feeling low. Later, the Holy Spirit whispered into my spirit: When you do not receive my forgiveness, you are saying that My sacrifice was not enough for you. That somehow beating yourself up and feeling ashamed is needed for you to be forgiven. Don't … [Read more...]

tripping

no matter how much you try, you will always get tripped up. Over the last few weeks I have been presented with several situations in which I walked away thinking, "I just don't fit in." Not only did I feel this, I began to allow myself to start walking in it. The Holy Spirit convicted me of this today. When I am thinking so much about how I don't fit in, I am forgetting what my real purpose is. I am not meant to be comfortable at all times. Actually, the better thing for me is to be uncomfortable. I have a tendency to hide. It is easier not to have relationships for me. I spend so … [Read more...]

letting go

Jesus Calling for March 24 This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved ones, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in My Presence, where you are complete. Take time to bask in the Light of My Love. As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized possession into My care. You can feel secure, even in the midst of cataclysmic changes, through awareness of My continual Presence. The One who never leaves you is the same One who never changes: I am the same … [Read more...]

breaking idols

For I am yours and you are mine I just had to add this video. I love this song. Whenever I hear it, I feel so flooded by Jesus' love for me. Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior. My faith can only be made stronger when I am in the presence of Jesus. When I try to 'make my faith stronger', I become tired and worn out. Frayed. Damaged. Hurting. As God is trying to teach me who I am, He is showing me, … [Read more...]

so very excited #childrenoftheday

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seek me #loveidol #preapproved

But from there you will see the Lord your God and you will find Him, if you search after Him with all your heart and with all your soul. Deuteronomy 4:29 I have spent the last few years recovering. Certain events in my life stripped away any facade I may have been able to live behind. I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't feel there was any use. Through months of prayer, reading, counseling, learning and relearning, I know I am better. God has healed places in my heart, mind and soul that have been broken, festering and bleeding for years. There is more ahead. More to learn, more … [Read more...]

I am #preapproved

This morning, I went to my knees, asking God to forgive me for hating my body, abusing my body, loathing my thighs, putting my physical appearance before Him, for secretly feeling too intimidated by other women because of I have been so ashamed of me. For spending so much of my time and thought processes on how to look skinnier, lose weight, etc. For making appearance and approval from this world as a huge idol in my life. I have struggled all my life with weight, appearance, etc. When I say all, I am not kidding. I was put on my first diet in the 2nd grade. This has been a life long … [Read more...]

where do i belong?

As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.” John 15:19 Jesus chooses you & me. Bonnie Gray feeling left out...that is one of the hardest experiences for me. I remember when I was in basic training and fractured my hips. After the month stay in the hospital, I was released back to my unit. Not to participate, but to wait even longer for my fractures to heal. The cadre decided that I should work in the front office. There I could sit, answer phones and take messages. Seemed reasonable to them. Too me, it felt like a death sentence. I … [Read more...]

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